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Emotional Devastation Of Fathers Going Through Divorce

NBFR’s experience is that that Fathers are much more emotioanlly devastated than Mother’s going through domestic cases. Guys get the boot while Mom get paid for getting the kids, the home, the assets and more. What Are Your Views? Tell Us Your Experiences!

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11 Responses to “Emotional Devastation Of Fathers Going Through Divorce”

  1. Reuben Says:

    It is one of the hardest things a father could go through. Especially if he was the one who cared for the children while the mother climbed the corporate ladder. It feels as though you lost your children, and their needs and wishes are thrown to the wind. A spiteful woman can wreck havoc on an innocent heart.

    The affects of this kind of divorce are devastating on the children.

    The days of blindly appointing women as Primary residential parent, or sole custody are over. There is a great deal of evidence and further studies that indicate that the father is the single most important figure in a child’s life. Not to take anything away from the mother, however the lack of a father can be more damaging.

    Stand up for father’s rights. Take back or voice and assert our power to fight the sexual discrimination for the sake of our children.

    divorcedfathers@gmail.com

  2. Mike Lewis Says:

    Yes, fathers have rights too. But now is the time to ask, what is more important? The welfare of your child or the wonton hatered and loathing you have towards your fomer spouse? If your ex-wife climbed the corporate ladder to get ahead, now is the time for you to go back to school, get that sheep skin, and attain that job you know damn well you deserve. If your child means anything to you, make the timew to improve your life and become more of a positive influence in their lives. Lastly, don’t argue about paying child support, just pay it.

  3. Dennis Gac Says:

    I understand your feelings Mike, but, many guys are getting screwed financially, not having the basics of life covered to live their own lives…that they have a tough time adopting your philosophy…But, I do understand your point.

    We should all be more proactive in improving our situations.

  4. Greg Says:

    My ex of 20 yrs was running up charges at Victoria’s Secrtet with her new police officer boyfriend a week after we separated, and I got stuck with the Visa bills along with many others. I haven’t seen my kids (now 21 and 19) in 6 years, had to file bankrupcy, and am still paying child support in NY, one of the few satates which still requires support to the age of 21. I was treated like Charles Manson every time I stepped into the Schoharie County Family Court, even though I had never had ANY prior legal trouble, and had been an excellent Father for 15 years. Men have legal rights? Couldn’t prove it by me.

  5. Peter Says:

    I cared for my 6 year old daughter while her mother developed new relationship with boyfriend. She would spend the night with new “friend” because I was caring for our daughter. When she wanted me out so she could have new boyfriend at our house mother called Delaware County Sheriff to get the job done. I had 5 min to get my things and get out of my daughter’s life. I lived in a van in the catskills for 5 months until I lost that too. I am at the mercy of gender biased Ad Litem and Family Court Judge. Public Defender is in the same bed as all the rest of them. Is it too late for me.??

  6. Peter Says:

    Mike,

    I “lost” my daughter in a dissolution in Wa . 18 years ago. I had my income taken away and my housing shortly thereafter. I eventually landed in NYS and began school so I could pay child support and still live. I became disable and entered a State job disability program. I tried in vain to get modifications due to my income situation. I finally got my BA. in spite of facing jail and all kinds of harrassment by the powers that be. I got hit with a 38k interest judgement or 12% the highest WA. could award. I have two crushed disks in my back and need replacement surgery. I have income imputed to me even though I am under contract and cannot find a higher paying job. I pay over 10k in child support and arrears. I will never own a home, a bank account, or maybe a drivers license or be able to leave this socialists country!!!. I have paid all that I had and it will never be enough !! Oh yea I havent seen my daughter since she was 12 days old she is almost 18 years old. The only thing that satisfies the blood thirsty appratchiks is my death!!!. Pay child support for what??? What is the secret of paying? Am I any less homeless???

  7. Kyle Rod Says:

    Ok, this is my story. Soon after my divorce, I relocated to Osaka, Japan, paid my ex-wife her child support for our two kids, and would travel back every year to see them. This arrangement worked out well until she got married about two years ago and decided not to let me see them anymore. As I live oversees, and every family law judge in the US knows that Japan is the ONLY county that does not acknowledge parental kidnapping, I was unable to obtain any kind of visitation order. At that point I continued to pay child support. 18 months ago, I applied for my passport renewal. It was denied due to back child support. WHAT!!! I thought! How can this be! I still pay that woman. Turns out, my ex and her new husband had gone back to court and gotten a child support order despite me paying her directly. I contacted the case worker, and offered to provide proof that I had been paying her the whole time. I was told that since the documents were written in Japanese they would need to be translated (by someone other than myself). When I had them translated and sent them in, they were rejected because they were not original documents! WTF! My new spouse is Japanese, so I am on a spousal visa here (thus can’t be deported back to the US unless I commit a crime). So basically, I am stuck here. The only way I can ever leave is if I nationalize and obtain a Japanese passport (not as difficult to do as you might imagine, but it means renouncing my US citizenship and taking a Japanese last name). Attorneys I have contacted in the US have straight out told me NEVER COME BACK, YOU COULD BE ARRESTED. Thus, this woman has not only cost my my children, but cost me my family and any ties I may have had in my home country. The sad thing is, I read the stories of others in similar situations (such as “Peter”) and feel like I am amongst the lucky ones.

  8. AL Says:

    I am in the beginning stages of divorce and my lawyer tells me my ex will get $225.85 a week plus 41% of childcare…. I add this up to her taking one of my pay checks a month….How am I suppose to live?????

  9. Peter Says:

    I just did a one man protest/demonstration at the Family court of Delaware County in NYS today. I passed out my homemade flyers and held my homemade sign with pride. I was stunned and amazed at the response of thoses who honked, gave thumbs up ,and talked to me about their experiences at “Feminist court”. All of the support for me and what I was doing was positive. The looks from the Court personnel was priceless. I held no punches back and was loud and clear of my contempt of the Gender Bias Court system. A lot of women supported me as well.
    Can you believe this is still America??. Father’s have died face down in the mud for the right to raise their children beyond the reaches of tyranny and facism. Right in our own communities there are people and groups that will snatch those freedoms away from us and turn fathers into second class citizens. I am done being a doormat and a wallet with legs. I am leaving ASAP this mill of slavery and servitude. If there is an underground “Railroad” for fathers please let me know. I have given two daughters in this struggle and have paid enough.

  10. Peter Says:

    Hi, everybody. I am writing as a free man again. My 4 hour demonstratation on June 24th. at Family court which my “X” was there to hear my exhortations about Feminist court kidnapping my 6 year old daughter ended. My ordeal began shortly thereafter. I was arrested and taken 2 hours to Delaware County Jail NY for breaking a court order of protection. It seems that my “x” didn’t like my constitutionally protected right to free speech and claimed that I “harrassed” and ‘Intimitdated” her . She even came over to me and took a picture of me protesting she was so afraid. Nevertheless after two days of civil disobedence at The Delaware County in NYS jail I got sprung on bail. I resisted ice cold AC, no blankets or cot, and sitting for hours on a stool, and then standing for great lengths because I wouldn’t talk or eat. I was threatened with a strait jacket before I agreed with my lawyer to end my resistance to the Facists Gender bias thugs. I was able to keep my job and am currently waiting another charge of Criminal contempt of court. For some reason I will stay and fight the powers that have put me here. My “X’s” reaction is someone who is afraid of losing. Why else would she go to so much trouble to destroy me? Yes, maybe its time to put my protest sign away and begin the real work of filing Torts and petitions. I am in better spirits and feel the real work is ahead. the shot has been fired across the bow and now I need to storm the breech in the line. I cannot lose much else as there is not much else to lose. I have been imprisoned for being a father!!!. Can you begin to explore the depths of this tragedy??.. More to come.

    Thank You all for your support!!

  11. G. Rogers Says:

    My ex took the kids 4 years ago now. I was active duty Navy in Maine and had no choice at the time but to let her take them. We ended up divorced, she got the sweet deal… usual story me paying most of the bills, paying for the house while she got 50% of the profits..

    I got lucky and had “join custody” but I am in San Antonio now, remarried, out of the military and out of a 2k a month job, I take home $745 a month. My children both want to get away from her. She has been bouncing boyfriends, lives with her brother, the kids spend the night somewhere different now that she works evenings.

    I don’t know what to do. my nine year old son weighs 120 lbs, my 8 year old daughter according to my sister is now “sexually curious” and I’m scared silly for them both. My son has been tossed from one school for his acting out, and I fear what will happen if he does it again.

    I’m in the position to care of them. Stable relationship, both of us have good jobs, great neighborhood… but I fear taking this to court, losing and never seeing them again!

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